The sorter
Cut ten to five, five to three, then say why
Choose with your actual relationship history in mind — the last few months, not your ideal self. Every choice stays in this browser tab; nothing is sent or stored.
Round 1 — keep five of ten
Pick the five values you would most want your next difficult decision to reflect.
Round 2 — keep three of five
Now the harder cut: which three still lead when two of them collide?
Round 3 — one line each
Write why each value survives, in words you could actually say out loud. One sentence is enough.
Your choices and reasons stay in this browser tab only — nothing is uploaded, scored, or saved after you leave.
After the sorter
What to do with a top three
A top three becomes useful when it meets real decisions. Two good first uses: name the observable behavior that would count as evidence for each value ("reliability means changed plans get mentioned the same day, not discovered later"), and pick the one value that has been quiet lately — the one your last two weeks do not reflect.
If your final cut felt arbitrary, that is worth noticing too. Forcing a trade-off is the point: values only guide decisions when they can lose to each other. The values guide covers how to separate values from preferences and baselines, and the 12-choice values assessment is a gentler first pass if the ten words here felt too few.
Related guides
Where the three values connect next
- Understand the layers → Relationship Values: value vs. preference vs. baseline, with the everyday-behavior version of each.
- guided first pass → Relationship Values Assessment: twelve choices over a wider set of themes, about three minutes.
- Turn values into language → What Do I Want in a Relationship?: how stated preferences and three-step sentences make values sayable.
FAQ
Questions, answered plainly
How does the values sorter work?
You start with ten everyday relationship values, choose the five that matter most to you, then cut that down to three. For each of the three you keep, you write one line on why it survives. The result is a short, copyable summary — no score, no type.
Is my top three permanent?
No. The sorter reflects what should guide your decisions in this season of your life. Values shift with experience and circumstances, so re-sorting after a move, a breakup, or a new life stage is normal and useful.
What is the difference between this sorter and the values assessment?
The 12-choice Relationship Values Assessment is a guided first pass over a wider set of value themes. This sorter is a forced trade-off: cutting ten to three makes you decide what genuinely leads when values collide. Using the assessment first and the sorter second works well.
What if I cannot decide between two values in the final round?
That difficulty is information. Ask which value you would want your decisions to reflect on a genuinely hard week, not a good one — the value that still matters when things are hard is usually the one to keep.
Does AmorKind score my values or tell me who to date?
No. The sorter has no score and produces no compatibility percentage. AmorKind does not rank people, predict a soulmate, or tell you who to choose — it exists to help you notice your own values, preferences, and patterns.