The sorter
Cut ten to five, five to three, then say why
Choose with your actual relationship history in mind — the last few months, not your ideal self. Every choice stays in this browser tab; nothing is sent or stored.
Layer 1 — the people
Rank by who actually gets your best energy on an ordinary week — not who should. Pick in order: first place, then second, and so on.
Layer 2 — the dimensions
Now rank what you want the relationship itself to optimize for this season.
The season check
One question, answered honestly: does your last month of calendar, money, and attention match the order you just chose? Name where they disagree.
Your choices and reasons stay in this browser tab only — nothing is uploaded, scored, or saved after you leave.
After the ranking
What a priority order is for
An order you chose on purpose beats an order that just happened. Two uses for yours: share the people-layer order with your partner - mismatches are not problems, but silent mismatches become them - and treat the season-check line as your single next adjustment, not a self-criticism.
Priorities are seasonal by nature. A ranking that was honest in spring can be wrong in autumn without anyone failing. The values guide covers the principles underneath the order, and the expectations check catches the unspoken rules that often drive it.
Related guides
Where priorities connect next
- The principles underneath → Relationship Values: what your ranking is protecting.
- The unspoken rules → Relationship Expectations Check: expectations often set priorities without asking.
- The trade-off tool → Relationship Values Sorter: if choosing between values felt harder than choosing between people.
FAQ
Questions, answered plainly
How do I set priorities in a relationship?
In two layers: the people competing for your time and energy (yourself, partner, family, friends, work) and the dimensions inside the relationship itself (trust, passion, stability, growth). Rank each layer separately, then check your ranking against what the last month of your calendar and attention actually show.
Should my partner come first?
There is no universal answer. Many durable relationships put the partnership first for a season - young kids, illness, a start-up - and rebalance later. What matters more than a permanent ranking is that both people agree on the current order and know what would move them up or down.
Do relationship priorities change over time?
Constantly. Priorities are seasonal: a new job, a new baby, a health scare, or an empty nest all reshuffle the order. Re-ranking after major life changes is a sign the reflection is working, not that the old answers were wrong.
What if my ranking and my partner's do not match?
Mismatched rankings are information, not a verdict. The useful conversation is not about whose order is right but about which mismatch actually hurts - those are the places where one person keeps losing to the other's priorities without an agreement.
Does AmorKind score my priorities or tell me who to choose?
No. The ranking has no score and no correct order. AmorKind does not rank people or tell you who to choose - it exists to help you see your own priorities, values, and patterns clearly enough to make your own decisions.